Hello friends,
Welcome back on another journey toward a Steady Mind.
Relationships are tricky. They come at different moments in our lives and allow us to grow beyond imagination. Nowadays, it's quite normal to let our relationships take their own course rather than steer them in the direction we desire. But, learning to check in with your partner and assess the dynamics of your relationship gives room for both individual and combined growth.
Like every other part of our lives, relationships never evolve and flourish without proper maintenance and discipline. Conversations like these can be hard, but, let's take a moment for self-reflection and accountability.
Here are 7 Signs of a Healthy Relationship:
Sign One: Mature Communication
Mature communication isn't your ability to express what's on your mind or heart; it's about expressing yourself in a manner your partner can understand. Your "best" communication will always be ineffective if it is not in a way your partner is capable of receiving it. How we communicate should be determined by the desire for our partners to understand what we are trying to express.
Saying whatever comes to mind (or heart), can cause adverse reactions. However, learning how your partner comprehends teaches you what to say (and how to say it) to get the resolve you are looking for.
Sign Two: Mutual Focus
Any relationship distracting you from your goals and purpose is not one to be entertained. Though you might not have the same desires, in some form, goals should align. This sign measures whether you're both in the same head space and have the potential to move forward as a unit.
Goals such as marriage, starting a family, getting out of debt, living a disciplined lifestyle, and creating generational wealth, all must be mutually desired and mutually sought after.
It's not a mutual focus if both individuals have the goal but only one person is applying the principles.
Sign Three: Individuality
Healthy relationships don't cloud your identity. Everything concerning who you are, what you do, and how you think should never be based on one person or entity. There's a great difference between a "cute" clingy and an "excessive" clingy, be sure that you've measured correctly.
Finding time to hang out with friends and family, engage in hobbies you love(d), and do things independently of your significant other makes certain that you don't forsake your community and individuality. It also gives the ability to see different perspectives that can aid in both personal and relational growth.
Sign Four: Room For Errors
The perfect relationship is non-existent. Many times we allow highlights on social media to dictate how our relationships should or shouldn't be managed. This gauge speaks more to our level of patience and ability to forgive and find resolve. No single person will check all the boxes off of your list.
Miscommunication, hiccups, misunderstandings, and unawareness are all opportunities for growth and an ability to understand your partner in a way you haven't before. Healthy relational dynamics are birthed out of patience with each other and a willingness to learn.
Sign Five: You Trust Each Other
Trust should be the foundation of all relationships. Though it can be rebuilt, remaining in a transparent and vulnerable state allows you and your partner to maintain a united front. If there is a trust issue, the relationship will remain breeched and distant.
The only way that trust can be maintained or rebuilt is through aggressive vulnerability and accountability. Not in a way that abuses your partner, but, rather makes them aware of where you're at allowing them to help bring about a healthier dynamic.
Sign Six: Boundaries Are Accepted and Respected
What you require will seem overbearing for those who either don't have the capacity for you or aren't headed in the same direction. Everyone has boundaries - and no relationship can be deemed "healthy" without them. As tension can arise when figuring them out, they should always end with mutual acceptance and respect.
If you find yourself fighting to keep your boundaries or maintain your partner's, it could be that they haven't been communicated effectively. Helping your partner to understand the heart and concept behind what is being required makes all the difference. People tend to find a greater understanding of what they are doing when the "why" has been thoroughly communicated.
Sign Seven: Responsibility
In all relationships, partners must learn how to take responsibility for their actions. A good measure of health is when both parties can apologize without solely projecting what could've been done better by the other party. For every action - there is a reaction. However, I like to believe when both individuals focus on what they can do to become better for their partners, then everyone feels served and noticed.
Taking accountability for our actions and reactions shows maturity and strength. While it may be hard to sit on our shortcomings, know that we all have them. When they arise or are exposed, take it as an opportunity for growth and the ability to pick up a healthier practice.
Conclusion
Beyond the responsibility of how we handle trauma, we are also responsible for how we foster our relationships. Healthy ones don't just happen; they are created and nurtured - tended to continuously. If you know that your relationship isn't strong in these seven (7) signs; it doesn't have to be an end.
Sometimes, we simply need to learn and unlearn, find our rhythm, and stay on track through discipline, intentionality, and accountability. Now that you've assessed, go ahead and ask your partner if you portray these signs.
As you move towards a healthier relationship and a healthier you...
Here's to a Steady Mind!
So very true. Love this!